That awkward moment when you realize that

…there’s just 30 days to go before it’s officially halfway through 2012.

I’ve just read back on what I hoped 2012 would be. January Bev was very optimistic, you see.

So far, things have been going well. It wasn’t smooth-sailing at all, mind. There were many, many, MANY instances wherein I wanted to succumb to depression. However, Better Bev prevailed. Woohoo!~

~*~*~

I’ve recently decided to free myself from the things that are holding me back…things and circumstances and people which/o I see as shackles. I got tired of all the pretension and the lies and the guilt. I figured, if I really wanted to be happy, I should start facing them one by one. Slowly, but surely, I made it through each obstacle. It was painful, yes. Soul cleaning demands for intestinal fortitude like no other. There are still some leftover, uh, dirt, but I’m working on cleaning that up. I’m just glad that, for the most part, my slate is clean. I can finally start to REALLY enjoy.

I’m also glad for the several events which led to my discovery of which people really matter to me. I’m proud of the relationships I have cultivated over the years, and I’m particularly happy with my circle of friends now.

~*~*~

I remember back in high school how highly antisocial I was. I tended to look down on others if I deem them “unfit” for me. Like I was on a pedestal. … Well, okay, that still happens. Sometimes. … From time to time. … When people are just so… … ‘kay fine, I still have the tendency to become haughty. But now, more than ever, I have learned that I have to learn to understand people. I still have that first-impressions-last thing, but at least I give them the chance now. Wow I’m evil. D:

Momma Cat + Akia

Sometimes, it reached a point wherein I won’t talk to you unless you were a cat.

~*~*~

I’m slowly learning the ropes of inbound marketing. While I am not claiming any kind of expertise in the subject, I am happy that I can, little by little, formulate my own ideas about this particular form of marketing. I feel like Rand Fishkin’s wife, when she said she started learning “his language” (like it was alien! … but it IS!). Like Geraldine said, it’s enough not to make me feel left out in dinner parties. xD

But I must learn more! And this is not just in a “Oh, I must learn since it’s my job” thing. I actually enjoy learning more. For the longest time I’ve felt brain-dry, like nothing was stimulating me mentally anymore. I wanted a change, a challenge. And here we are. Previously adorable creature pandas and penguins are now something to shudder about. Hahaha. The things you learn online. :3

~*~*~

Just a month before mid-2012. What the fuck have you done today?

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